One of the perks of being a chick at a beer festival (or sporting event) is the relatively short bathroom lines (as compared to the men’s lines). Unless, of course, the event features co-ed port-a-potties. In that scenario, lines can be ENDLESS and EXCRUCIATING. It is truly a fight against the clock.
Beer events and stadiums are not the only venues where waiting on line for the bathroom reminds me of a situation similar to the “heart pounding through the chest, sweaty palms, strenuous suspense of dismantling of a bomb with only 10 seconds left on the clock.” Having to go pee in crowded bars with only one bathroom, tailgating parties in stadium parking lots hours before the doors open with access to toilets, long road trips with too much caffeine with no rest area in sight, standing in the middle of the NYC crowded streets during the Thanksgiving Day Parade and not being allowed to use the restrooms in local establishments, being stuck in the window seat of a cross country flight when your neighbors are sleeping and you cannot wake them up for the life of you — those are all moments when your bladder stands the test of time.
I am certain that at some point in your beverage consumption career, you learned to play the “wait as long as physically possible before you break the seal” game. And we all know the tragic circumstances that surrounds the breaking of the seal.
Well kids, have no fear. I have fantastic news. We no longer need to worry about breaking the seal or doing the embarrassing “pee pee” dance in public! Thanks to the brilliant minds behind DontBreakTheSeal.com … all of our bladder prayers have been answered.
From two Miami buds who lost too many “babes” when their game was interrupted by visits to the little boys’ room, BATHROOM BUDDY is a Tylenol-sized capsule based on military technology that stops you from peeing for a solid eight hours, so you can enjoy a night on the town without visiting a single urinal, at least until it’s time to change the cakes again. How it works: once in your gut, BB expands to a softball-sized, readily digestible microfiber sponge (think those sink-borne dino pills from childhood), that soaks up sloshing liquid while allowing booze to be metabolized; after eight hours the Buddy’s processed as solid food, a familiar experience for all except Rip Torn.
Bathroom Buddy is useful for more than just partying. It’s also great for:
- Avoiding piss stops on road trips
- Making sure you don’t have to leave the eyesight of that babe you’re working at the bar, and lose her to some guy who pissed more recently. After all, it’s is slogan: “We stop urine, to make sure you’re in.”
- Winning bets with your friends about who can “hold it” the longest
- Take care of your incontinent elderly family members and saving on adult diapers
- Walking your dog only once every 24 hours
To order BATHROOM BUDDY — Visit the official website and fill out the form!
Happy Belated April Fool’s! Compliments of: ThrillList.com