My entire life, I have been fighting the stereotypes against women.

Now this post is by no means against all of you women respecting and women loving men. This is against the men that think that women and men are not, in fact, equal. That women are the weaker of the species. That our main purpose on the planet is to bear children, cook and clean.

Listen, I understand that women and men are not physically equal. We have different parts and, most of the time, men are bigger, faster and stronger. Trust me, I know this. I learn this the VERY hard way as a child. For a good part of my childhood, I was faster and stronger (but not bigger) than all the boys. Then things changed, and I was devastated.

Unfortunate for me, all of my endeavors, interests and passions happen to be “male dominated” arenas. I played sports my whole life. I studied Criminology in college. I have worked in restaurant kitchens. And now I am in the beer industry.

I love cigars. I love scotch. I love college football more than almost anything in this world.

I’ve been criticized for my “look” and for my hobbies. I have had many people tell me to “embrace my feminine side.” WTF is that supposed to mean? I don’t have a feminine side. I have ONE side, and this is it. What you see is what you get.

I consider myself to be a human rights activist. I fight for equality in all the realms — race, gender, age, sexual orientation etc…

Where is this going, you must be asking yourself?

One of my major pet peeves with the big corporate beer companies (outside of the fact that they make a horrible product from the poorest quality ingredients) is the ludicrous marketing ploys they develop. It makes me sick to see them not only objectify women in these commercials, but to learn of product gimmicks that they create specifically for women.

Marketing Magazine out of the UK recently announced that Molson-Coors is releasing a clear beer specifically designed for women.

I threw up in my mouth when I read the announcement.

Like all malt-beverages being marketed to women, the clear beer’s “shtick” is low calorie. Because supposedly women would rather sacrifice flavor and quality for lower calories. Give me a f*ck*ng break.

And to add injury to insult, they are campaigning women to name the beer for them.

Oh, I have a name for it. And trust me, its not pretty.

From what I understand, the clear beer is meant to serve as a gateway beer to get women to drink, and I quote, “REAL lagers.” It is supposed to kinda of sort of taste like beer, but not too much. WTF did they make the beer from second runnings? Gag me.

And as for it being a gateway to real lagers, I hardly consider Molson (or Coors) to be a real lager. Maybe an adjunct lager brewed with ingredients that would make the founders of the Reinheitsgebot turnover in their graves. But, real? That is not the word I would use.

If you really want a pint of adjunct lager from one of the BIG 3, I got the recipe for you:

• 20 ounces soda water
• 1 drop corn extract
• 1 drop wheat extract
• 1 drop rice extract
• 1 drop barley extract
• 1 tiny tiny drop of old stale hops

And as for the alcohol? Spike it with a bit of vodka and there ya have it. Your adjunct lager.

As a craft beer evangelist, the last thing I want to see on the market is a gateway beer into corporate beers. Leave those beers for the kids who abuse alcohol and only see it as a means to and end. Aka alcohol = drunk.

I like to think that most people actually care about what they put in their mouth. I drink beer not because I want to get drunk, but because I appreciate the craft (as I do the culinary arts) and I really, truly enjoy all the different nuances and experiences I get out of craft beer.

I have been fought on this issue over and over. “But what if you have no choice and there aren’t any other beers available?” I drink water. Simple as that. I don’t drink to get drunk. Yes, it is a very pleasant side effect. But I would not be spending the amount of money as I do on beer if I thought its only purpose was to get drunk (or laid).

Honestly, I think that all women, whether or not they drink craft beer, should take offense to this marketing ploy. Essentially, Molson-Coors is saying that, because we are women, we deserve to drink poor quality, poor tasting, bottom of the line shit?

I would rather gag down a nasty appletini than ever touch a bottle of clear beer.

And on one last note, clear beer …. clear heels … anyone see a similarity? The only place that beer belongs is in strip clubs, far from me.

So my fellow humans, women and men alike, I ask you to join with me and fight the BEER WAR against corporate America! VIVA LA BEER WARS!

Cheers!

I’ve been known to get in long and exhausting debates with people about corporate America. Especially, when it comes to the beer industry. In fact, I recently endured a long-winded friendly argument with an individual in my local brewpub about Coors. In my opinion, there is never a time for Coors. I would rather drink a homemade cocktail of vodka + soda water + hops extract. Throw in some corn extract and you have an alcoholic beverage comparable to any of the “Big 3″ lagers. No joke.

Naturally, when it comes to the big scary world of capitalization and America’s corporation-controlled economy, one has to pick ones battles. As much as I would love to fight them all, the reality of doing so is easier said than done.

One battle in particular that I’ve personally chosen to fight is “Beer Wars” . This term was recently coined and popularized by director Anat Baron. Baron’s movie “Beer Wars” provides a no holds barred exploration of the U.S. beer industry that ultimately reveals the truth behind the “Big 3″ corporate beer companies. Told from an insider’s perspective, the film goes behind the scenes of the daily battles and all out wars that dominate one of America’s favorite industries.

As if the craft beer industry did not have enough turmoil WITHIN ITSELF, another corporate beverage tycoon has recently decided to declare war on the craft beer industry. Craft beer’s newest enemy is an energy drink. Yes, you hear that right. AN ENERGY DRINK. Why a MULTI-BILLION dollar, NASDAQ-listed company wants to pick a fight with a small, limited-distribution craft brewery is beside me. I am completely baffled. And very, very pissed off.

So here is the general jist: On September 14th 2009 — Hansen, the publicly traded parent of Monster Energy, slapped Rock Art Brewery, a small craft brewery in Vermont, with a Cease and Desist order on the name of its American Style Barleywine — VERMONSTER. In its letter to Rock Art Brewery, Hansen makes the asinine claim that “use and registration of VERMONSTER in connection with beer will undoubtably cause confusion or/or dilute the distinctive quality of Hansen’s Monster marks.”

Katie over at Gonzo Gastronomy posted a great write up on this battle: “All the dishes rattle in the cupboard when the elephants arrive…”

Think this is some sick joke? Think again.

In the video below, Matt Nadeau of Rock Art Brewery sits down with Green River Pictures to let the world know his side of the Monster Energy drink Trademark lawsuit.

“I’m a man of principles and it’s principles at stake. It’s liberty at stake. It’s justice at stake. And I’m being told that it’s for sale. I don’t buy it. Thank you for listening and jump on our website, get the links and run with it AMERICA. Let the corporations know who actually has the power in this country, where your dollars and and what your going to do.” – Matt Nadeau

I’m extremely impressed with Matt’s refusal to back down and I am in full support of Rock Art Brewery. My dollars will never EVER again support the Hansens corporation.

“The American Pledge of Allegiance does not say and justice for all who have the deepest pockets.” — Matt Nadaeu

So Monster, what poor little craft brewery are you going to attack next?

Ballast Point for its Sea Monster Imperial Stout?

Deschutes for its Green Monster?

Brooklyn Brewing for its Monster Ale?

Terrapin for its Big Hoppy Monster?

Heck, a search on RATEBEER.COM for the keyword MONSTER reveals 56 beers. How many other craft breweries are gonna get slapped with a “Cease and Desist” from Monster, I wonder.

And if there are at least 56 beers that use the name Monster in some way shape or form, why did Hansen decide to prey on a limited-distribution/low-production craft brewery from a small town in Vermont? Why not attack one of the bigger craft breweries? I would just love to know the method in the madness behind this ludacris decision…

Something needs to be done. Monster needs to be stopped. My good friend and fellow beer blogger, PJ Hoberman, put it best:

“Help Matt stand up. Support Rock Art. Boycott Monster. Spread the word. Make sure the world knows how pissed off we are. And smash cans with bigger cans.”

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR ROCK ART BREWERY.

BOYCOTT MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS.

CHEERS!!!

WARNING: The nature of this post is extremely subjective and controversial.

It happens all the time. Celebrities, corporate tycoons and big brands are constantly trying to put their names on EV-ER-Y-THING. If something is hot, trendy and selling like hotcakes — then you can expect many dark horses in the shadows just waiting to take a share of the market.

It is after all, the capitalist way. Smart investors and savvy business professionals are always ahead of the curve when it comes to emerging market trends.

In my opinion, this can be both good and evil.

Good is when angel investors help to get small businesses off the ground. Good is investing in a talented and passionate craft brewer who wants to open his own brewery, but does not have the capital. Good is investing in the rapidly growing craft beer industry by supporting the development of privately owned, genuine craft breweries devoted to producing high-quality craft beers with extreme care. Good is supporting the little guy — the artist dedicated to the craft of beer.

Evil is when people take advantage of market trends and arrogantly infiltrate an industry for which they obviously have no respect or true passion. Evil is vanity. And normally, the vanity and arrogance of celebrities and big brands does not affect me. Usually, I choose to ignore it. BUT when these big brand tycoons try to infiltrate and bastardize the craft beer industry, it becomes personal.

Sure there are genuine celebrities and big business folks who are actually passionate about the beverage industry and have done great things for it (i.e.: Paul Newman wines). I understand that not everyone has evil intentions. And sometimes, the marketing can be so good that it is hard to see the truth through all the bells and whistles.

Clever marketers pull the wool over peoples eyes and make them believe what they want they want them to believe. Corporate brewing companies are constantly trying to convince people with creative marketing ploys that they actually care about the art of brewing beer — all while producing low quality beers using adjunct ingredients. (i.e.: Miller’s ridiculous “Triple Hops Brewed” campaign) Clever consumers, however, can usually see through the all the bullshit.

At least these guys TRY to put out a good front.

And then, there are the arrogant marketers. These are the people who think that their brand is immortal — that they are golden and untouchable. Arrogant marketing is self-branding anything and everything as a result of one’s own vanity. Arrogant brands think that they have the Midas touch — anything they put their name on will turn to gold.

And that makes me sick.

Arrogant is saying–>

“Once in every generation a brand comes along that simply defies convention. This generation’s brand is Ed Hardy. With a cult of customers that is the envy of any brand, a fanatical celebrity following, and a worldwide marketing machine that spans more than 40 countries.

From the golden touch of Christian Audigier and the magical brush stroke of Don Ed Hardy, the Godfather of the modern tattoo.

The time has come for Ed Hardy beer. No rules. No expectations. No limitations.”

Really? I mean REALLY? Is this some sort of sick joke?

Listen, I love beer. Beer is essentially my life (aside from Ohio State football). And I’m always excited to learn about new breweries and new beers. But this, this really irritates me.

As far as I can tell, Christian Audigier could care less about beer — and I have yet to find anything to prove otherwise. All he seems to care about is putting his label on anything and everything possible. According to the website, Ed Hardy has a “Light and a Premium” beer in its line. But there is no mention of style, brewing techniques, ingredients or the actual “brewery” which produces it.

Ed Hardy beer is NOT about the beer, its about the name and the brand. MARKETING FAIL.

In my not-so-humble opinion, the last thing the beer industry needs is another corporate tycoon producing sub-par, adjunct beers and brainwashing the mass public with ridiculous marketing campaigns.

Maybe I’m just uber sensitive. Maybe I’m too much of a purist. Maybe my passion for the craft beer industry has clouded my judgement. Maybe this is actually a good thing for the craft beer industry. Maybe celebrity interest in beer will help boost the industry as a whole.

Or maybe I’m right. Maybe this sucks.

What do YOU think?