For those that arrived here seeking some sort of news or information regarding craft beer, the industry and the people in it; I hate to disappoint, but this is more of a story than an editorial. Nonetheless, the story is quite lovely – AND, it even ends “happily ever after”. However, don’t get my wrong. It is definitely no fairytale.

I find no more appropriate way to start this tale than with my rendition of the prologue in Shakespeare’s Rome & Juliet (I was a Thespian in my other life)….

Two beer bloggers, both alike in dignity,
In fair Portland, where we lay our scene,
From blogging grudge break to Twitter mutiny,
Where uncivil tweets makes followers get mean.
From forth the fatal loins of the Oregon Brewers Fest
This pair of star-cross’d lovers meet in real life;
Whose misunderstood piteous jest
Do with a marriage proposal bury their Internet strife.
The awkward passage of their Twitter-mark’d love,
And the continuance of affection from both,
Which, but use of black magic, could not remove,
Is now the subject of this post;
The which if you with open minds will read,
What here shall miss, our tweets shall strive to exceed.

Last month, along with 10 different craft breweries, several beer bloggers and other social media savvy friends, I helped launch International #IPADay — the world’s largest craft beer celebration dedicated to, yes you guessed it, the India Pale Ale. For the most part, the announcement of #IPADay went off without a hitch, if not exactly as planned. As hoped, hundreds of craft beer lovers, breweries, bars and retailers automatically adopted the idea and started planning celebrations all over the world.

Well, not everyone was excited about the concept. We, errrr…. *I* received some resistance from another blogger who goes by the name of Samurai Artist on the Internet. And although saying this now might insult him, which is totally unintentional yet an important part of the story, I actually had never heard of him up until then. Which now I realize, after reflecting upon how influential he is in the craft beer scene both in Portland and in the blogging realm, is a major fault on my behalf.

Either way, knowing him or not, I took great offense to his public opposition to #IPADay, which I also saw as a blatant attack against me.

I found out about Ezra’s Anti-#IPADay article as I was commuting to Berkeley. While stuck in Bay Area traffic, which resembles a parking lot more than a freeway, I spent some time sorting through email. Like any good social media savvy person (you reading this Ezra?), I receive Google Alerts daily on a plethora of things — including anything “The Beer Wench” and my name. So anytime someone mentions beer + wench or my name consecutively, Google tells me. And as fate would have it, Ezra did both — although he did not tag my site in his post.

Seeing as how I had just sat through over an hour of painful traffic, in rather gloomy weather, under-caffeinated with low blood sugar, his article did not sit well with me. In fact, it hurt me. So much so, I cried. But, in true Wench form, I rallied up and drafted a retort to all of the opposition. And naturally, true to his form, the Samurai Artist updated his original post to include further critique of the matter, in response to my retort. Needless to say, the passive aggressive brawl did not stop at the blogosphere. It continued into the depths of Twitter and Facebook, where a mini war between the supporters and haters of #IPADay was waged.

Over the weeks, as the haters developed apathy and stopped caring, the fighting subsided and, for the most part, there was peace. Well, we will call it the calm before the storm.

As fate would have it, only a few weeks after announcing #IPADay and a week before the actual event, I found myself visiting Portland to take the Cicerone Exam and attend the Oregon Brewer’s fest. Originally excited for my first ever Portland visit, I  became extremely nervous about the visit because of Portland’s unusually high resistance to #IPADay and perceived “hatred” towards me. Now, mind you, I take things very personally. Which means I actually did believe that Portlanders hated me and I actually feared making the trek. Which all seems silly no. But hindsight truly is 20-20.

But all the same, love or hate, I had no idea what to expect in Portland. The only thing that I really relied on was the fact that just about none of the Twitter personalities and bloggers in Portland had ever seen me in person, and therefore were very unlikely to recognize me. Which meant that I could go about my business, doing my thing, unnoticed, and not get stoned to death or burned at the stake.

It is important to note now that, although I consider myself to be an atheist, I have rather unique superstitious tendencies and I am oddly fascinated with black magic, stones, astrology and other weird things. A week before my Portland visit I purchased two Voodoo Dolls (hey I never claimed sanity people) at the Cincinnati airport, of all places. I bought The Equalizer — who is supposed to help me get even, and The Gladiator — who is supposed to give me strength to fight for what I believe in….

Those of you that know me know that I have a fighter personality. I fight on Twitter, Facebook and on my blog all the time. My first response is always fight, not flight. And often times, my friends and family have to step in to prevent me from making decisions that I am sure to regret — which almost never works. Needless to say, with both The Equalizer and The Gladiator in hand, I arrived in Portland ready to fight.

Whilst wondering around the Oregon Brewers Fest, I befriend some unsuspecting Portlanders. Naturally, Twitter came up, as it usually does in conversations with me that last longer than 5 minutes. Being local Twitter personalities themselves, it didn’t take them long to figure out that I was, in fact, the girl that was causing quite a stir amongst Portland beer bloggers.

Luckily, they did not feed me to the wolves. In fact, they were more than excited to aid me in my pursuit to find and confront the man that felt the need to question my integrity publicly on the Internet. They offered to bring me to him, but only under the condition that I play dumb — an act I am more than good at. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t fired up. I had already consumed a decent amount of liquid courage and my “Rowdy Routson” personality was clearly ready to jump in the ring.

The boys had no problem finding Ezra for me. But, just as I was approaching the circle where Ezra was located, I was stopped dead in my tracks by fellow beer blogger and friend, Brian Yaeger. I’m quite certain Yaeger knew I was on a mission, yet I tried to play dumb, pretending that I didn’t know Ezra was two feet away from me, even though blood was rushing through my veins just thinking about it.

Yaeger, not wanting to pass up an epic moment, picked up his video camera and captured the errr…. what we will call awkward, moment on camera.

The initial meeting was less than inspiring (sorry Ezra, my darling). I arrived feisty and ready for a throw down — or at least a challenging and heated debate. The actual result was a rather awkward silence and some witty report. I believe, and Exra correct me if I’m wrong, the first thing I said was “Why do you hate me?”

After standing around staring at one another, rather awkwardly, a few of us went off to grab what I assume was meant to be “peace” beers together, expect that I got, well, distracted by a different beer journalist — another story for another time. Or probably not

But thank goodness for social media, because what might have been an otherwise rather underwhelming encounter became glamorized online. Awkward silence suddenly evolved into romance. And well, the rest is history.

Oh, you know I can’t just leave you hanging like that. After all, I promised you a happy ending (no Ezra, not THAT kind of happy ending).

Brian “Beer Yenta” Yaeger exaggerated a somewhat peaceful meeting between two “nemeses” into a beer baby making romance on the Twitterverse. Both Ezra and I took the high road and decided to play along. And before we knew it, our relationship turned into a full-blown, hot and steamy, Lifetime movie-like romance.

My Portland romance culminated with the “first date” at the Widmer Brunch where, after a few beers, Ezra got on one knee and proposed to me.

I suck at romance writing, huh?

Well, don’t expect it to get any better. The details go as is: I made Ezra get on one knee, which he adamantly objected to until the last minute. But we all know that The Wench is virtually impossible to resist. Even Greg Koch has said that you can’t say no to The Wench. Sorry kids, it’s the truth.

Since Ezra showed up unprepared for our epic proposal, I provided him with a bedazzled bottle cap ring with which to propose. Naturally, I said yes. I mean come on now, what kind of asshole would make someone get on one knee and propose in front of an audience of people and then say no? Even I am not that big of a jerk (most of the time).

The real kicker was posing for pictures. Those that know me in the slightest know that I HATE smiling in pictures. So much so that I’m known for making the “wench face” — aka a puckery smirk. It is either that or I pose kissing a beer or kissing a cheek. I opted to kiss Ezra’s cheek, with my eyes closed. And in the 2 seconds my eyes were closed, BAM. There it was. A kiss to seal the deal. And luckily, all the paparazzi were in place to capture the moment, which will now live on forever thanks to the Internet.

In all seriousness, I am not only relieved, but extremely happy to resolve the issue between Ezra and myself. Is it love? Well kids, hate to break it to you, but it is entirely way to early to even host such thoughts. Wounds are still fresh. Yet, I have learned a lot about myself in the process — and truly thank Ezra for this experience, though it is extremely peculiar. And although Ezra still adamantly opposes #IPADay (to each there own), we have agreed to disagree — and even be friends.

And so, I would like to end this story with the closing line from Cassablanca:

“Ezra, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Cheers!

Even the Miss USA pageant doesn’t end with the crowning of the victor, so we decided that our “20 Most Eligible Bachelors of Craft Beer” needed to include some special awards as well.

Since the men were all judged on three separate measures (please read the rules and criteria on my previous post), we decided it was appropriate to award the winner of each measure a special title. Something special for the man who scored the most on the personality scale, the most on the talent scale, and the most on the appearance scale, and so on.

But that’s not all folks. Why not ride this wave out as long as we can, right? Miss Jess Hunter, Assistant Editor and Staff Writer at Denver Off The Wagon, and I decided to add a fun twist to the competition by adding a few superlatives… super high school style (oh come on, you know, the things you vote on for the senior year book).

Enough with the words… on with the show!

THE “SPECIAL” AWARDS

Mr. Craft Beer: NOAH REGNERY

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? According to the results, this guy is the complete package. He walks the walk, he talks the talk. He has the look, the swagger, and now the bragging rights of “The Most Eligible Bachelor of Craft Beer.”

Runner-up: Matt Bryndilson

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Mr. Congeniality: MATT BRYNDILSON

Brewers are not exactly known for having the best social skills, that is why they work all day in a brewery, after all! This award goes to the most congenial, charismatic and inspirational “contestant”. This person scored the highest on the “personality” measure.

Runner Up: Jamie Floyd

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Mr. Photogenic: KELLY RYAN

Let’s face it, brewers are not the most glamorous men in the world. And the pretty ones definitely stand out. This award goes to the winner of the beauty pageant. This person scored the highest on the “appearance” measure.

Runner Up: Matt Dauffenbach

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The Rockstar: GREG KOCH

There are all sorts of levels of talents in the craft beer industry. Brewing skills, marketing, public relations, sales… all are very important to the success of a company. This award goes to the one who rocks the Casbah. This person scored the highest on the “talent” measure.

Runner Up: Garrett Oliver

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THE SUPERLATIVES

Best Dressed: GARRETT OLIVER

Don’t get us wrong, brewers boots, dickies workshirts, tie-dye and plaid are all adorable in their own respects. But there are only a select few men in the beer industry worthy of the adjective: dapper. And we think Garrett Oliver is the swankiest of the swank.

Runner-up: Matt Bryndilson (the man makes lederhosen look sexy…)

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Sexiest Brewers Beard: JASON YESTER

Ladies don’t deny it, beards are sexy. Being badass enough to sport an epic beard in addition legendary dreadlocks = pure WIN. When it comes to facial hair, Jason Yester is the cat’s meow.

Runner-up: Eric Salazar

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Best Pearly Whites: DYLAN LINTERN

Never trust the men with killer smiles (you know the kind: glimmering white teeth, adorable dimples), because they can con you into about anything… including drinking Schlitz out of a can in a dive bar at 4 am… but I digress.

Runner-up: Matt Dauffenbach

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Best Twinkle Eyes: ADAM AVERY

Pictures do not do this man justice (Come on Adam, when you gonna get better press photos?). One look into his eyes, and you will be captivated for… well, hours. And probably days. Maybe even months. But not like I would know…

Runner-up: Tyler King

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Class Clown: JAMES WATT

There is a saying that goes: Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive. The dynamic duo over at Brewdog definitely live by this motto, as evidenced by their rather brilliantly insane marketing gimmicks and feats in brewing. Oh and penguin costumes? ‘Nough said.

Runner-up: Matt Dauffenbach

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Biggest Jock: CHAD MELIS

Working in the beer industry can be a slippery slope. Consumption of beer everyday, typically with copious amounts of food, can be quite detrimental to one’s girlish figure. But, there are some men out there dedicated to fitness and keeping their body beach-ready.

Runner-up: Adam Avery

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Biggest Flirt: COLIN FERGUSON

Don Juan, Casanova, Dracula, George Clooney — they all have it. The word is CHARISMA. We are talking about the snake charmers who can talk the pants… errr boots off just about anyone. And Colin is one heck of a Ladies Man.

Runner-up: Dr. Bill Sysak

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Most Plaid-Tastic Flannel-i-cious: JASON OLIVER

Plaid is the new black. And it takes a real man to pull off the plaid-flannel combination. In fact, it takes a really burly manly mountain man. That or a brewer. Either way, it is one heck of a fashion statement.

Runner-up: Joe Mohrfeld

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Biggest (Internet) Geek: Shaun O’ Sullivan

They may be worshiped by many, but let’s not kid ourselves here. Brewers are geeks. And their fans are geeks. And the winner of the biggest geek award goes to Sully, the man rarely ever seen NOT on some sort of technological device doing something on the Internet.

Runner-up: Greg Koch

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Well folks, thanks for playing. And thanks for getting excited about brewers that get some of us ladies in the beer industry excited. Now… who wants to help make the calendar?

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the main event.

After weeks of nominations and eliminations, the 20 Most Eligible Bachelors of Craft Beer (2011) have been determined.

The basic qualifications were as such:

1. Must work for a craft brewery (all positions considered)
2. Must NOT be married (other relationship statuses accepted)

Many men were evaluated, and only 20 made the final cut.

The judging criteria were as follows:

1. Industry Talent
2. Personality
3. Appearance

20 men were scored and ranked — but only ONE man will take home the crown of “Mr. Craft Beer 2011.”

Without any further ado, let me present the winners of….

THE 20 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS of CRAFT BEER 2011

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# 20 — Mr. James Watts

Founder, BrewDog

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# 19 — Mr. Dylan Lintern

Vice President, NOLA Brewing Company

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#18 — Mr. Chad Melis

Marketing Director, Oskar Blues

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#17 — Mr. Jon Carpenter

Brewer, Dogfish Head

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#16 — Mr. Eric Salazar

Brewer, New Belgium Brewing Company

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#15 — Mr. Colin Ferguson

Beer Jockey, Great Divide Brewing Company

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#14 — Mr. Tyler King

Brewmaster, The Bruery

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#13 — Mr. Jason Yester

President & Brewmaster, Trinity Brewing

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#12 — Mr. Jason Oliver

Brewmaster, Devil’s Backbone Brewing Company

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#11 — Mr. Matt Dauffenbach

Sales Manager & Evangelist, Tallgrass Brewing Company

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And now for the top ten most eligible men in the craft beer industry … drum roll please….

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#10 — Dr. Bill Sysak

FOH Beverage Supervisor, Stone Brewing Company

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#9 — Mr. Adam Avery

Founder & Brewmaster, Avery Brewing Company

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#8 — Mr. Jamie Floyd

Co-founder & Brewmaster, Ninkasi Brewing Company

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#7 — Mr. Greg Koch

CEO & Co-founder, Stone Brewing Company

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#6 — Mr. Garrett Oliver

Founder & Brewmaster, Brooklyn Brewery

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#5 — Mr. Joe Mohrfeld

Brewer, Odell Brewing Company

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#4 — Mr. Shaun “Sully” O’ Sullivan

Brewmaster & Co-Founder, 21st Amendment

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#3 — Mr. Kelly Ryan

Brewer, EPIC Beer

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#2 — Mr. Matt Bryndilson

Brewmaster, Firestone Walker Brewery

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#1

MR. CRAFT BEER 2011

NOAH REGNERY

Head Brewer, Pizza Port Brewing Company

Photo Credit: Facebook

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Well, there you have it. The most eligible bachelors of craft beer in 2011. But before all you ladies start bombarding these fine gentlemen with emails, facebook messages, text, tweets, etc… take heed because, unfortunately, many of them are in committed relationships.

BUT WAIT FOLKS. The fun DOES NOT stop here. As with the Miss America Pageant, we have decided to give some of these boys “special awards”… stay tuned for Mr. Congeniality, Mr. Best Dressed and more!

Some of you (okay maybe just my Dad) might have noticed my lack of blogging in the past few weeks. This is partly due to the fact that I am now gainfully employed by an awesome brewery, whose website and blog have taken priority over my own. It is also partly due to travel; the mayhem of beer festival season is upon us… And the last reason I have been so “quite” on my site is because I have been putting a lot of time an energy (yes, I am dead serious) into the research and development of the inaugural list of “20 Bachelors of Craft Beer.”

The idea was developed from conversations that are constantly brought up in personal circles, often behind the scenes, but sometimes publicly on various Social Media platforms. Let’s face it; when humans are attracted to other humans, we tend to vocalize it to our peers (and in my case, the Internet). And as much as I try to fight gender stereotypes, I must admit that the ladies of craft beer do, in fact, gush over the men in the industry.

Now, you must be asking yourself why on earth a self-proclaimed feminist would want to glamorize the boys in the biz… therefore upholding gender stereotypes and further creating a “delineation” between the sexes. Why not a “20 Most Eligible People of Craft Beer” contest instead? Touche, my friends. But the answer is pretty simple: I am a woman in the industry which means I carry with me a certain bias. It is easier for me, personally,  to evaluate men on a subjectively objective scale. And since I was a principal in the development of this operation, it is important that I remove as much bias as possible.

Now having said that, it is important to clarify that, while I may have spearheaded and organized the operation, my opinion only contributed to a fraction of the actual outcome. Allow me now to discuss the process:

This was not a “people’s choice poll”. Instead, we opted for a “pageant-like” competition. Unlike most pageants, the participants did not enter themselves and were not required perform a certain set of tasks on which we judged them.

In order to even qualify for the “pageant”, the men were required to 1. Work for a brewery (not necessarily as a brewer) and they 2. Could NOT be married (other relationship statuses were accepted).

Nominations were collected by a select group of women, who then put them all through several elimination rounds until we narrowed down the list of Top 20. And then, a secret panel consisting of 10 women from all areas of the industry and areas of the world scored each of the 20 “contestants” on 3 different measures.

It is extremely important to note the key word in the competition was

“E L I G I B L E.”

Appearance, although a factor, was not the most important measure. Even Miss America is required to have a talent and prove that she contributes value to the greater good of the world (World Peace FTW!). And so, all of the men on the top 20 list were individually scored on the following three separate measures:

1. Industry Talent: Although many of the men excel at other hobbies, this measure strictly speaks to the “industry impact” that these individuals have made. This can be evidenced by number of medals won, books written, movements started etc… The main question is: are they important and relevant in the craft beer industry?

2. Personality: Let’s face it, brewers (although adorable in their awkwardness) are not known for being social butterflies. In fact, most are extremely socially awkward and truthfully, some are complete pricks. However, a select few stand out from the crowd. These are the speakers that can steal a room, the men that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and the men you find yourself drawn to like a moth to the flame.

3. Appearance: Being in the beer industry is less than glamorous, and those who make it look glamorous deserve a little bit of credit. Drinking beer for a living can adversely affect one’s health and physical fitness. But there are some men who have gone above and beyond to ensure that they keep their beach-ready physique. And well, then there are those that are just adorable in their own awkwardly geeky ways.

Not all the men on the list excel at all three measures. Some might have a lot of two, but none of one. This is why each person was scored on each separate measure, instead of scoring them on a simple scale from one to ten.

Whew. Now that we have gotten all that out of the way… It is time to announce the 20 Most Eligible Bachelors of Craft Beer, right?

Yeahhhhhhhhh, about that.

Do I have the results? Yes….. BUT, I need some time to properly organize them and present them. So please bare with me and, *cross your fingers*, the big reveal will happen within the next day or so… STAY TUNED!

Right now, Rod Stewart’s voice is echoing in my brain:

“I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.”

Not gonna lie, the closest I got to drinking craft beer in college was probably Guinness. Okay, that is a lie. My parents always had some sort of craft or imported beer in the house growing up, so I wasn’t completely unexposed. But like most poor college students, I always searched out the cheapest thrill and swill possible. Unfortunately, this usually meant Natty Light and buckets of the big bad corporate beers. Back then, beer was a means to an end. And that end was getting drunk. Yeah, you’ve all been there so don’t look at me like that.

I did not know one single person that homebrewed on campus. Which actually makes sense when you think about the “I want a golden egg and I want it now” instant gratification seeking Millennial Generation. We didn’t have time to wait 6 weeks for the beer to ferment. We wanted to get drunk NOW. My BFF Shana puts it best: “I don’t have all day to start feeling good here.”

Today’s college kids are a bit more savvy, though. Which sparks a little envy deep down inside me. If only I knew that I would eventually throw my two degrees out the door to pursue a career in the craft beer industry. Instead of hosting themed parties with Gatorade jugs filled with deadly (and disgusting) vodka concoctions, I could have hosted kick-ass homebrewing parties. Let’s face it, I would have been the coolest kid in school. Probably wouldn’t have graduated with honors, but it could have saved me 5 years of soul-searching.

Sara Wallace, Senior Writer at The Daily Princetonian, recently contacted me regarding my opinions about the recent trends towards homebrewing on campus for an article she released today. Naturally, I was more than happy to weigh-in on the topic.

I think it’s extremely important for young drinkers to develop an appreciation and respect for the art and craft of beer. Craft beer is more than just a mechanism for getting drunk. Sure, alcohol consumption does have a pleasantly euphoric side effect. But getting drunk should never be the primary reason behind drinking beer. Unfortunately, most college kids are mindlessly drinking whatever yellow fizzy beer they can find at the cheapest price instead of putting thought and consideration into where the beer came from, who made it, what ingredients went into it, and whether or not they actually like the stuff.

Beer is both a science and an art, which I think most educated persons can appreciate on some level, whether or not they drink. Brewing beer is like making food — there is a baking (scientific) component to it as well as a cooking (creative) aspect. I find that students get into homebrewing for all sorts of reasons outside of getting drunk. (Engineers like the science aspect, artists like the design component, etc.)

The trend towards homebrewing on campus is really exciting. I know many brewers who started homebrewing during college and then ultimately became professional brewers. Many of my friends that are still in college have started homebrewing on campus and often come to me for advice and inspiration.

There are SEVERAL great resources about homebrewing on the Internet as well as many excellent books. Charlie Papazian’s “The New Complete Joy of Homebrewing” is a must-read book for all homebrewers. For the frugal, used copies of older versions are available and just as helpful. In regards to equipment, Northern Brewer is one of the best resources for supplies and ingredients. By far the best resource online is the American Homebrewers Association website. The AHA also releases a great magazine on news and trends in homebrewing called Zymurgy. And naturally, I always encourage following homebrewing blogs.

In my opinion, young (student) homebrewers will be responsible for shaping the future of the craft beer industry. They will be the driving force behind future innovation, inventing new tools and systems as well as pushing the boundaries of the industry. It is a really exciting time for craft beer!

What do you think?

This story has nothing to do with beer, sorry folks.

This is a tale of epic proportions. It is a story jam packed with action and adventure, suspense, drama, and comedy. It is a story about raw human emotion — fear, anxiety, anger, compassion and happiness. It is a story interlaced with values. There are many morals to the story. There are victims, there are heroes, and there are villains. And the best part is that the story actually does end happily ever after.

The story begins on a warm, sunny California evening. Our main character, Wenchie, made the decision to venture into San Francisco, via public transportation from Berkeley, to attend a “Meet The Brewer” event with James Watts of BrewDog at The City Beer Store.

This was the first time that our Wenchie had ventured into “The City” in at least 3 weeks. So it was a big deal for her to be there.

The event itself was a smashing good time. Wenchie got to see many of her NorCal beer friends that she had not seen in quite some time. Some of her old HopPress teams members were there, her good friend Joe Tucker of RateBeer was there, lots of other Bay Area beer bloggers, brewers, and fellow beer evangelists were there.

Wenchie enjoyed several of BrewDog’s most highly coveted ales. But what really made the experience epic was that she has the opportunity to drink the beers with the very dapper, extremely witty, and slightly incomprehensible BrewDog founder, James Watts. The night was perfect. But, ultimately, people started to leave and and eventually Wenchie was left to her own.

The responsible person inside Wenchie said to go home. And so she attempted to leave San Francisco, walking back to public transportation. Along the way she passed “The Cat Club”, where the doormen tried to lure her in for a night of debauchery and dancing. She politely declined.

But upon turning the corner, Wenchie realized that she had forgotten a beer at City Beer Store that she had promised to a fellow beer geek on The East Coast. And so she made a quick heel turn and proceeded to return to City Beer Store. But not without passing “The Cat Club” again. And again, she got tempted by the doormen. But again, she politely declined.

After securing her beer for trading, Wenchie found herself yet again passing by “The Cat Club.” The third time must be a charm because this time she stopped and inquired about exactly what was going on inside. The doormen told her it was 80′s night and, being a huge fan of 80′s music and an even bigger fan of dancing, our Wenchie found herself being lured into a world of strobe lights, disco balls, costumes, and insanity.

Being the Internet addict that she is, Wenchie made sure to tell her Twitter friends exactly where she was and what she was doing. But that would be the last that any of them would hear from her for at least 12 hours. Wenchie tucked her phone away into her backpack and handed it over to the coat check girl at the club.

That night, Wenchie had the time of her life. She danced like no one was watching. It had been a long, long, long time since she had been told that she was attractive. And that night, people told her how awesome her hair was and how pretty her eyes were. And she felt good about herself. For once.

She also met so many amazing people. In fact, one young woman noticed how much fun she was having on the dance floor and encouraged her to stay. Wenchie said that she had to leave into order to make the last train home. Unfortunately, the amazing young woman had celiacs disease, which meant she was unable to drink. But fortunately, she had driven to the bar from the East Bay. She offered our Wenchie a ride home, so that she did not have to pull a Cinderella and leave the club at midnight.

Sometime during the night, the phone was lost. There is no way to know when or where it was lost, but it was lost. To no avail, our Wenchie desperately attempted to call and text her phone from her roommate’s phone.

By the next day, the phone appeared to be dead.

The loss of her phone devastated our young heroine. You see, most people do not understand what it is like to live a day in the life of The Beer Wench. Whilst she puts on a fantastic facade, her life is not as glamorous as most people think. She gave up everything material and blew through her entire meager savings to become a craft beer evangelist and fine beverage revolutionary. Although she is known to travel extensively and drink some of the most coveted beers in the world, Wenchie lives a very simple life. And she lives day by day, never knowing where she will be the next day. And never knowing how long she can survive this lifestyle before she is ultimately defeated.

There are some people that envy the life of Wenchie. Some people love to criticize her for her choices in life. But those people do not understand the sacrifices that she had to make in order for her to have the experiences that she has had. These people do not know how poor her living conditions are. Those people do not know how much she fears, every single day, of going broke and having to give up her dream. Most people don’t know how lonely her life is and how most of her nights are spent home alone.

Our Wenchie has two material items that are worth more emotionally than they are economically: her phone and her laptop. These are two items that she cannot live without. Everything else, ha. She doesn’t even own furniture or sleep in a real bed. In fact, the only piece of real jewelry she owns is her gold class ring from The Ohio State University. That is it. No lie.

So when our poor little Wenchie lost her phone, she was emotionally devastated. Being unemployed for over a year, there was no way she could afford another phone. But despite her internal devastation, she kept her wits about her and was determined to figure out a way to make things work.

Her awesome roommate, Debra, offered to stop by “The Cat Club” after work to see if they had found the phone. But before she could do that, something rather extraordinary happened. The 13 year old son of the man who found the phone turned the phone on an texted Wenchie’s roomate.

He told Debra that his dad had found the phone but was not going to give it back. This angered Debra and she unsuccessfully tried to convince the kid to return it to its rightful owner.

And then things got even more intense. The kid used Wenchie’s phone to post random messages on her Facebook wall. “XTMYNOIWRNTR”. Wenchie’s friends thought it would be funny to chide her and call her a drunk. But Debra would not stand for such insults. She told everyone that the phone had been taken and the culprits were not willing to give it back.

This is when things got really exciting. The boy saw Debra’s post and decided to friend her on Facebook in order to chat with her about the lost phone. He told her that his dad was “cheap” and refused to give it back. This angered Debra and she threatened to file a police report. This did not seem to frighten the boy, so she actually called the San Francisco police department, who informed her that Wenchie needed to be the person filing the missing phone report.

Wenchie called up Debra from a payphone in Oakland. Apparently, payphones have gone the way of the dinosaur because it took Wenchie 20 minutes to locate one. Her roommate updated her on the situation. It must have been the payphone booth, but at that moment, our Wenchie transformed from a devastated young girl into a super hero on a mission.

Wenchie picked Debra up and the two sleuths set out to find the phone. After a dinner of greasy food and unsuccessfully trying to get an Internet connection at a fast food restaurant, the two drove around until they found a Wi-Fi hotspot. On the side of the road, Wenchie was finally able to activate MobileMe, a tracking device she had purchased from Apple. MobileMe was able to give the two private eyes almost the exact coordinates of the phone.

Knowing the last name of the family and the zip code, Wenchie proceeded to use yellow pages to look-up the exact address where the phone was located.

Wenchie also reached out to her friends on Facebook. Told them to text her phone to inform the possessors that she was going to file a police report if they failed to return it. Since his profile said he was born in 1986, the girls assumed that the boy was about 24. So they decided that scare tactics would work best and began to threaten him with the police.

In the meantime, the girls went to their local police station in Berkeley — where they were automatically and very rudely rejected. So the girls called up San Francisco PD. At first, the SF cops were unresponsive and, it was not until Wenchie revealed that the case was pretty much signed and sealed, that they agreed to help. So much for tax dollars.

The dispatched told the girls that once they reached the address, they should call the SFPD for a civilian car to come and assist them with the reacquisition of the phone.

As they drove closer and closer to his house, the girls continued to try to get the kid to meet them with the phone. They did not want to get the cops involved, especially since the cops had been so worthless up to that point.

Eventually, the boy confessed that he was only 13 and could not leave the house at 9:30pm at night. He informed the girls that his dad was asleep and his mom was away, and that he could meet them outside the house. Although the girls did not know the number of his house, they pulled onto the street that MobileMe indicated and, ironically, parked right in front of the exact house.

The kid came outside as promised, apologized for his father, and returned the phone.

The two girls returned back to the East Bay with the phone. And everyone lived happily ever after. Well, everyone except for the father who tried to keep something that did not belong to him.

The moral of the story? There are several.

Moral 1: When one puts so much value into an object, one must take extra care of it.

Moral 2: True friends are there for you you when you need them the most, even when it may be extremely inconvenient for them.

Moral 3: When a material object has the ability to devastate your world, you need to reprioritize your life.

Moral 4: Age has nothing to do with values.

Moral 5: You can’t make new friends if you never leave the house. And if you never leave the house, you will always be alone.

Moral 6: Apple is fucking awesome. Social Media is fucking awesome. Technology FOR THE WIN.

From The Author

Just when I thought that the younger generations consisted of spoiled children with a sense of entitlement and lack of respect for adults and authority (trust me, I substitute taught Middle School…. kids are not what they used to be), I was proven wrong by one really strong kid. This young boy defied his own father’s wishes for the greater good of someone he did not know. Not because he had something to benefit from it, but because he knew it was the right thing.

The right thing. Imagine that. Someone in today’s material driven, capitalistic society actually did the right thing. And he was 13 years old. Thirteen freaking years old. Makes you feel kind of ashamed of your own selfish and hedonistic nature, doesn’t it?

The bottom line is that, this boy has made a tremendous impact on my life. Not only did he return one of my most important possessions in life, but he has inspired me to be a better person. He had nothing to gain and everything to lose from returning my phone. He will suffer for days, weeks, and maybe even years to come, for betraying his father’s wishes. And for this act of courage, I am eternally grateful.

To the boy whom this story is about, you know who you are, you will forever hold a place in my heart. I look forward to seeing the person whom you develop into and hope that you will never let go of your values and your subconscious drive to do the right thing, regardless of what your elders tell you. And: “This above all, to thine ownself be true.” — William Shakespeare.

One of the perks of being a chick at a beer festival (or sporting event) is the relatively short bathroom lines (as compared to the men’s lines). Unless, of course, the event features co-ed port-a-potties. In that scenario, lines can be ENDLESS and EXCRUCIATING. It is truly a fight against the clock.

Beer events and stadiums are not the only venues where waiting on line for the bathroom reminds me of a situation similar to the “heart pounding through the chest, sweaty palms, strenuous suspense of dismantling of a bomb with only 10 seconds left on the clock.” Having to go pee in crowded bars with only one bathroom, tailgating parties in stadium parking lots hours before the doors open with access to toilets, long road trips with too much caffeine with no rest area in sight, standing in the middle of the NYC crowded streets during the Thanksgiving Day Parade and not being allowed to use the restrooms in local establishments, being stuck in the window seat of a cross country flight when your neighbors are sleeping and you cannot wake them up for the life of you — those are all moments when your bladder stands the test of time.

I am certain that at some point in your beverage consumption career, you learned to play the “wait as long as physically possible before you break the seal” game. And we all know the tragic circumstances that surrounds the breaking of the seal.

Well kids, have no fear. I have fantastic news. We no longer need to worry about breaking the seal or doing the embarrassing “pee pee” dance in public! Thanks to the brilliant minds behind DontBreakTheSeal.com … all of our bladder prayers have been answered.

From two Miami buds who lost too many “babes” when their game was interrupted by visits to the little boys’ room, BATHROOM BUDDY is a Tylenol-sized capsule based on military technology that stops you from peeing for a solid eight hours, so you can enjoy a night on the town without visiting a single urinal, at least until it’s time to change the cakes again. How it works: once in your gut, BB expands to a softball-sized, readily digestible microfiber sponge (think those sink-borne dino pills from childhood), that soaks up sloshing liquid while allowing booze to be metabolized; after eight hours the Buddy’s processed as solid food, a familiar experience for all except Rip Torn.

Bathroom Buddy is useful for more than just partying. It’s also great for:

• Avoiding piss stops on road trips
• Making sure you don’t have to leave the eyesight of that babe you’re working at the bar, and lose her to some guy who pissed more recently. After all, it’s is slogan: “We stop urine, to make sure you’re in.”
• Winning bets with your friends about who can “hold it” the longest
• Take care of your incontinent elderly family members and saving on adult diapers
• Walking your dog only once every 24 hours

To order BATHROOM BUDDY — Visit the official website and fill out the form!

Happy Belated April Fool’s! Compliments of: ThrillList.com

Cheers!

A year ago, I would never have predicted that I would  be where I am today. If someone was to tell me that I would have met all of the people that I met, traveled to all of the places that I traveled, and experienced all of the things that I did, I would not have believed it.

Let us rewind it back and look at 2009:

Still living in Orlando, in MASSIVE transition, working at Seasons 52 — high-end seasonally inspired fresh grill and wine bar. At this time, The Wench seriously studies for Sommelier and Certified Specialist of Wine certifications. At this point, wine is The Wench’s profession and beer remains her hobby.

The last weekend of January, The Wench travels to California for the ZAP Zinfandel Festival. Met SEVERAL of my twitter followers over the course of a few days. Drank lots of amazing vino, took a day trip to Napa. Trip was way too short.

Drink with the Wench turns ONE on February 7th!

Towards the end of the month, The Wench attends the first dinner in a series of Twitter Taste Live dinner party tweetups at Dolce Debbie‘s house in Tampa, FL. The theme was Italian wines & Italian foods and was co-hosted with Matt Horbund from A Good Time With Wine.

At the beginning of the month, The Wench co-hosts a Twitter Taste Live with Dogfish Head.

The rest of the month is rather uneventful.

The beginning of the month starts out with a BANG. The Wench tri-hosts THE FIRST EVER Twitter Taste Live Beer vs. Wine Dinner at Dolce Debbie’s house in Tampa, FL. Dolce Debbie planned and cooked a beautiful five course menu, Matt Horbund paired four of the dishes with a wine and The Wench paired the same dishes with a beer. The verdict? A tie.

The Wench announces her desire to work in the beer industry by announcing The Wenchternship. No one bites and the project is quickly abandoned.

Things take a turn for the worse when The Wench gets in a bad car accident. Car accident results in several weeks off from work and 2 months of daily physical therapy.

Car accident results in a mini-depressive episode and a significant reduction of blog posts.

Plagued by a series of unfortunate an undesirable events in Orlando (including the car accident), The Wench is “saved” when she gets invited to live with Dolce Debbie and her husband Barry Frangipane in Tampa, FL. Without hesitation, The Wench moves to Tampa.

Things begin to look better for The Wench. She begins to gain momentum.

Happy Birthday to The Wench. Ashley turns 26 on June 13th. Dolce Debbie hosts the party of a lifetime in honor of the birthday twins — The Wench and Aging Backwards.

Early in the month, The Wench attempts to enter what she calls “No Man’s Land” by writing a series of posts featuring linear pairings between beer and wine. Although widely popular, the series is short lived — with potential to be revived in the new year.

The end of the month brings an invite by Samuel Adams to attend an expense paid trip to Charleston, SC in July to attend a beer dinner at The Culinary Institute.

Things get REALLY exciting this month.

The Wench flies to Charleston, SC to attend a Samuel Adams beer dinner at The Culinary Institute of Charleston. She has the honor of sitting next to Samuel Adam’s head brewer, Bob Cannon, for the duration of the dinner. Following the dinner, The Wench lands her very first brewer interview with Bob Cannon. She also interviews the head Chef of the beer dinner.

At the end of the month, Ashley find herself back in Wine Country, CA for the 2009 Wine Bloggers Conference.

While in California, Ashley takes her first trip to Twisted Oak Winery in Murphy’s. It is here where she develops an obsession for the River of Skulls and meets the love of her life, her rubber chicken aptly named “Don Quixote.” After a day full of wine tasting in the town of Murphy’s, drinking gueze, feasting on tri-tip, swimming in the creek and wine blending, The Wench spends a wonderful night sleeping underneath the Twisted Oak Winery Twisted Oak Tree.

It is in this moment that The Wench has an epiphany and starts thinking about moving to CA.

Day one of the Wine Bloggers Conference reunites Ashley with many of her Twitter friends from across the country as well as gives her the opportunity to meet new followers. She also gets to meet the boys from Mutineer Magazine.

Day two of the Wine Bloggers Conference is EPIC. The day starts with Bloody Marys and ends with Absinthe. Bus Number Four becomes legendary.

Day three of the Wine Bloggers Conference gives Ashley the confidence she needs to make her declaration to move to CA. The gears start turning and she starts plotting a cross country trip with instant BFF Shana Ray.

This month is one of complete chaos and absolute insanity.

The Wench officially decides on a whim to pick up everything and move across country — with no job, prospect of a job or place to live.

Burnt out and needing an adventure, Shana Ray makes the spontaneous decision to book a flight to Florida and make the drive across country with Ashley. After hours of brainstorming, the ambitous pair create PROJECT Y-INE — the first social media expose focused on researching the beer & wine consumption behaviors of Generation Y.

After analyzing all possible routes across country, The Wench decides that the southern route would be the most ideal. She reaches out to her Twitter & beer blogger contacts in each city, setting up as many events allow the way as possible.

Even before the trip details are complete solidified, Ashley makes the spontaneous decision to plan a trip to the Midwest just days after her assumed arrival in California.

Shana flies in to Tampa on the 14th. Dolce Debbie hosts a bon-voyage dinner for The Wench at her favorite Tampa restaurant, Pellagia.

With tears in her eyes and a Starbucks gift card in hand, The Wench packs up her car, hugs her “parents” Debbie and Barry goodbye and embarks upon the cross country adventure of a lifetime.

First stop: New Orleans. The Wench meets up with fellow beer blogger, The Beer Buddha at The Avenue Pub. There she also meets Matt Austin and the entire team of NOLA Brewing Co. The first night took a turn for the more awesome (and worst in Shana’s case) when the ladies found themselves visiting the “exclusive” favorite watering hole of the NOLA locals — Snake and Jakes Christmas Club Lounge.

Day two in NOLA started out slow. The girls did not find themselves leaving the house until late afternoon. Matt Austin plays tour guide through the French Quarter. The Wench gets her palm read and buys the most kickass pirate hat. Dylan Lintern of NOLA Brewing Co. invites The Wench and posse to join him and his brother for a potluck beer tasting at their house — complete with a full L shaped bar, 6 taps and a digital karaoke machine. The tasting is epic. Events from that night inspire Matt to start writing his own beer blog: I’m Pouring.

Second stop: Houston, TX. The girls spend the night eating pizza and drinking local beer with Amy and Joe Power from Another Wine Blog. The night is capped off with chess, chocolate and vino. The next morning, the ladies find themselves visiting NASA.

Third stop: Austin. The girls almost never leave. Here they meet the most infamous @baconator from Twitter. He foolishly allows the girls to take over his house for 3 days. The trio of trouble makers then proceed to take Austin by storm. Local beer blogger, Chris Troutman of Beer Town Austin, organizes two beer events for The Wench: The Draught House Over A Pint Episode and Uncle Billy’s Brew & Que tour and tasting. Local food blogger, Jennie Chen of MisoHungry Makes it With Moonshine concocts some amazing beer desserts for the events.

The girls decide to stay in Austin and extra night and, as a result, spend 16 hours on the road driving to the Fourth stop: Phoenix. The Wench’s Uncle Terry Simpson hosts the girls for two nights.

Fifth stop: Los Angeles. Here The Wench meets up with fellow beer blogger, Chris Spradley of Breweries, Bars and Beer Food. Chris organizes a beer dinner at The Library Ale House which is followed by amazing beers at the Daily Pint. The next day, Chris hooks The Wench up with a video interview with Brian Lenzo at Blue Palms Brewhouse in Hollywood. The ladies cap the L.A. experience with a wenchmade (Whole Foods style) dinner party with Twisted Oak wines for Chris and the lovely bloggers from Hipster Enology.

After a scenic drive up Highway 1, the girls finally end the trip with beers at the Russian River Brewpub in Santa Rosa. They are joined by several wine country celebrities, including Rick Bakas of St Supery, Hardy Wallace of Dirty South Wine and Josh Hershberger of Pinot Blogger.

Whereas August was legendary, September is monumental.

With barely two weeks of California sunshine under her belt, The Wench whisks off to the Midwest for a 10 day beer extravaganza. The trip begins in Chicago and then works it way up to Wisconsin for Milwaukee beer week, a few beer dinners and The Great Lakes Brew Fest — where The Wench serves as a “mini mascot” and gets to lead the Pirate Parade.

The trip ends in Chicago where The Wench has the opportunity of a lifetime to have dinner at The Hop Leaf with Ray Daniels of the Cicerone Certification Program. Right before she jets back to California, Ashley grabs a few beers and a pizza with a small group of dudes (who would ultimately come good friends) that call themselves the #gents. One #gent in presence was the one and only Mr. Ken Hunnemeder from HopCast.

After less than 3 days back in California, the jet-setting Wench finds herself on yet another plane — this time to Denver for the Great American Beer Festival. Over a 5 day span, The Wench drinks her body weight (and then some) in amazing American beer from all over the country. She is reunited with old friends as well as has the opportunity to meet many of her Twitter friends in real life.

It is in Denver where Ashley first meets for the first time in person one of her best friends and fellow beer bloggers, PJ Hoberman from Starting a Brewery. She also meets Tim Cigeleske of Draft Magazine’s blog The Beer Runner, Chipper Dave of Fermentedly Challenged, Larry McIntosh of Madhouse Larry, Stef Ferrari of Girls For The Advancement of Craft Beer, Sarah Huska and many many others.

In addition to meeting several bloggers and tweeters, Ashley is honored when she gets to meet industry celebrities such as Sam Calagione from Dogfish Head, Rob Tod from Allagash, Vinnie & Natalie Chilurzo from Russian River, Greg Koch from Stone, Steve Parkes from the American Brewers Guild, Dan Del Grande from Bison Brewing, Joey Redner from Cigar City, Patrick Rue from The Bruery and so on and so forth.

October is the month of wine. Thanks to her amazing friends Thea Dwelle of Luscious Lushes and Shana Ray of Breathe Media, Ashley attends several wine blogger events all over Sonoma & Napa Counties. The wineries include, but are not limited to: KAZ Winery, Micheal Schlumberger, Benziger, BV Vineyards (where Ashley partakes in a grape stomping competition), Arista, Rubissow (where Ashley helps harvest grapes), Conn Creek, Bella, Rodney Strong, Papa Pietro Perry, ZD, Titus and several more.

Ashley even gets the honor of sitting in on an episode of Wine Biz Radio — where she is deemed “The Being of Pure Id” by its host Randy Hall.

Mid month, Hardy Wallace of Dirty South Wine hosts his annual Taco-Toberfest. Ashley also takes a trip into San Francisco where she attends a Tequila tasting for the U.S. launch of Don Roberto Tequilas.

Later in the month, Sondra Bernstein from the girl and the fig rolls out the red carpet for The Wench and posse at her restaurant. The group follows up an epic lunch by attending a book signing with Gary Vee from Wine Library TV. Ashley proceeds to drink lots of wine and molest Gary Vee with her rubber chicken — Don Quixote. Oddly enough, Gary Vee doesn’t seem to mind and, in fact, seems to like it.

After a few weeks choked full of wine and food events, The Wench finds herself back on a plane to the Midwest — this time for the Great Lakes Craft Brewers and Water Conservation Conference organized by Lucy Saunders of BeerCook.Com. There she gets to rub elbows with many brewers and beer industry movers and shakers.

October ends with a St Supery tweetup on The Napa Valley Wine Train. Costumes optional.

There is only one word for November — EPIC.

Hardy Wallace kicks off the month by hosting two of the finalists from Top Chef Season 6 — Eli Kershtien and Kevin Gillespie — for a few nights of food & wine debauchery in Sonoma County.

Early month, Ashley finally gets to meet her “big sister” from Twitter, Taylor Shaw aka The Art of Beer. This fateful meeting ultimately triggers Ashley to book a flight to San Diego for beer week.

On November 8th, Ashley experiences a major climax in her life as a beer writer while attending the Life & Limb Release Beer Dinner in San Francisco. At the dinner, Ashley gets the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview one of her greatest and most respected beer mentors, Sam Calagione from Dogfish Head. She also gets to spend some quality time with one of the most respected and successful craft brewers in the industry, Ken Grossman of Sierra Nevada.

Mid month, The Wench finds herself jet setting yet again in the name of beer. She heads down to San Diego for some of the most epic beer events of her “young” life. In San Diego, she meets up with her big sister Taylor Shaw and new best friend PJ Hoberman as well as many of her other great Twitter friends such as Alex P Davis, Jordan & Renee Rounds, Kristen & Martin Emde and the super sexy team of boys from New Brew Thursday: Stephen Johnson, John Holzer, Brad Kohlenburg.

The event highlights of San Diego Beer Week include: Meeting Dr. Bill Sysak, the 10 year vertical tasting of Double Bastard at Stone World Bistro, Lost Abbey Art Show & Beer Tasting, Firestone Walker 13th Anniversary tapping at Stone World Bistro, special VIP Twitter dinner with Greg Koch at Suite and Tender, Green Flash 7th Anniversary Festival, a VIP tasting of rare beers from Dr. Bill’s collection at Stone World Bistro, Belgian Beer & Cheese Pairing at Stone World Bistro and the Lost Abbey Rare Beer Tasting & Dinner.

At the end of the month, Ashley is invited to spend Thanksgiving with two of her amazing wine maker friends: Alan Baker and Serena Lourie of Cartograph Wines. Thanksgiving is a tremendous gourmet feast complimented by a stellar lineup of wine and beer.

Times, they are a changing. REALLY REALLY fast.

First of the month, Ashley gets the opportunity to meet the one and only Shaun O’ Sullivan of 21st Amendment. He brings samples of his newly released Monk’s Blood.

On a whim, Ashley throws caution to the wind and takes the first level of the Cicerone Certification Program. Without studying or any preparation, The Wench passes the test and becomes an Certified Beer Server.

Early in the month, good friend Baconator visits Ashley & Shana for a week. Lots of wine, beer & food debauchery go down. Ashley gets the rare opportunity of a lifetime to have dinner at The French Laundry. Here she has the most intense food and beverage experience of her life. The Master Sommeler, Christopher Hoel, pairs 7 our of the 9 courses with both beer and wine. He chooses wine from her two most favorite regions in the world — Chateauneuf Du Pape and Piedmont — as well as two of her favorite beers of ALL time — Russian River’s Pliny the Elder and Consecration. That night will go down in history.

Drink With The Wench begins to heat up and gain momentum when Ashley decides to do a series of articles featuring interviews with fellow beer bloggers. The series is tremendously successful and will continue into the new year!

Things get really exciting around mid-month when Ashley’s “little brother” Brian Kropf of Mutineer Magazine visits from the East Coast on an Army leave. Taylor Shaw and Stephen Johnson travel up from Southern California to attend a series of beer events hosted in Brian’s honor. The group starts by reeking havoc on 21st Amendment on the 21st. They then take the North Bay by storm: Lunch at Russian River Brewing Company followed by a tour and tasting of Lagunitas Brewpub. Many “celebrity” beer writers come out for the Lagunitas event. They include: Shawn Paxton of The Home Brew Chef, Mario Rubio of Brewed For Thought and Jay Brooks of Brookston Bulletin.

After almost three months of “dating” a Berkeley Brewpub – Triple Rock Brewery & Alehouse – Ashley finally gets an official offer on December 30th to become the new Assistant General Manager.

On New Years Eve, The Wench is officially moving to Berkeley. And on New Year’s Day, The Wench will officially kickoff her career as Assistant General Manager of Triple Rock Brewery & Alehouse. As fate would have it, Ohio State is also playing in the Rose Bowl that day. January first is shaping up to be the most monumental launch to a new year in the life of The Beer Wench.

Special THANKS to my girl, Shana Ray. Without here, I might not be where I am at today. Our cross country trip was legendary. I’ve enjoyed every moment with her since then and look forward to more in the future! Cheers!

Also, big thanks to everyone who has made an impact in my life in 2009. I would not be the person I am today without meeting all of you — whether our friendship be in the virtual realm, the real world — or both. I love each and every person that has touched my life in some way shape or form. Thank you!

CHEERS!

For some time now, I’ve been calling out to my friends on Twitter to help me develop a logo.

Now I’m getting serious about it.

When you are consulting others on brand development, it is easy to make logo suggestions. But when it comes to you and your own “brand,” brainstorming a logo is VERY VERY hard.

Part of my problem is perfectionism. My “brand” is not a product. It is me. I AM MY brand. And therefore, I want my logo to represent me as best as possible.

I have no idea where to start with this project. And I’m seeking as much guidance and suggestions as possible. Do I use a photo? Do I use just fonts? Graphics? Beer? No beer? Ahhh … sooo confused.

I’m not very familiar with graphic designing programs. I’m sure with the right tools and instruction, I’d be pretty good at graphic designing (used to be an art geek in high school … and I have an affinity for computers). But lack of time and resources does not make this possible. So I’m relying on others to help me.

In the meantime, here is an absolutely ridiculous logo I designed myself … using a (super airbrushed) professional photo of me (in my skinny years) and my MAC. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I deserve it.

Miss me?

First and foremost, I must apologize to my recent inconsistency of posts and … well, lack of posts.

The truth is that I am in transition. And quite honestly, I might be destined for a life of continuous transition.

I often tell people that I am a gypsy. Why? I can survive and flourish just about anywhere. This is because I am extremely driven and ambitious (and as some may argue … fairly intelligent). However, I cannot call any one place home … and as of yet, I can neither stay in one place nor hold one job (or a boyfriend …) for a pro-longed period of time.

What can I say? I am The Wench.

Some may criticize this way of living and preach that consistency and stability is important. While I agree that being consistent and stable is valuable, my personality is not conducive to either.

I am a Gemini. Whether or not you chose to agree with or believe in astrology, the attributes of a Gemini are dead on when it comes to describing my personality traits.

Here is a snap shot of a Gemini, via Stephanie Norris of PsychicsConnect.com:

This past week I faced a situation required my immediate removal from the condo I was residing in temporarily. My week has been rather hectic, as a result. The storm has calmed and I am looking forward to a fresh start and a revamp in my life.

I intend on refocusing my writing as well as buckling down and becoming serious about my craft. After all, in order to become the female version of Michael Jackson, I need a lot more discipline.

Although I have not been blogging as much as I should, I definitely have been collecting my fair share of amazing beers. In fact, my life without beer fits into one car. My life with beer takes two. Half of my possessions in life is my beer. If there was any doubt about my obsession, I think that it can end here.

I do not have a bed. (The place I live in has provided me with one, though). I do not own any furniture. The only piece of “real jewelry” I own is a gold Ohio State class ring that my parents bought me for graduation. I don’t even own a freaking diamond! And I’m a chick!

I have a car, a laptop, an iPhone, an iPod, a camera, a bike, a set and a half of golf clubs, hockey skates, shoes, clothes, nice knives, wine glasses … random tidbits … and most importantly, I have 11 boxes full of beer (and wine).

Many people have referred to my particular style of living as … “a man cave.”

Any questions about my priorities in life? OKAY. Good. Now, bear with me. The Beer Wench blog will be up and running: bigger, better, faster and stronger than ever in the VERY VERY near future.

I cannot wait to break open the beers from my collection and share them with others via my blog. I cannot wait to travel the world, exploring breweries and learning all about the process of making beer. I am ready to break loose … and there is nothing holding me back.

Cheers to the bright future ahead! XOXO

Love,

Wenchie